The aesthetic is easy to learn.
Too much is never enough when it comes time to flay the enemy.
Mastodon skulls are just asking to be used as codpieces, I mean come on.
Rage.
And above all, space marines are classy.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
If it's not deathmatch, then it's...
...Slayer.
I've been meaning to post on Slayer, a divinely-endorsed band, for a while now, so here it goes.
In the grand scheme of metal, there are several defining acts that exist in a strict hierarchy.
Tier 1 - Black Sabbath and Judas Priest - founded in the same year (1968), these guys defined metal as a genre and have spawned numerous imitators. Sabbath took blues to the next logical step by making it darker and edgier and are the most popular band in the sub-genre of "doom metal" in addition to being one of the most covered bands there is. Priest fostered the relentless two-guitar attack, fast riffs, and crazy solos that have led to thrash, power, numerous other types of metal. These are the metal gods.
Tier 2 - Iron Maiden and Motorhead - Two more British bands who were also founded in the same year (1975) and helped the development of their style. Maiden's combination of literature, history, war, and really long songs has arguably not been improved upon by anyone but them (according to their fans). A heavy metal band for everyone and one of the big influences on power metal. Motorhead is basically music for bikers. They took heavy riffs and sang about what big, angry men like to talk about while acting as progenitors to thrash metal.
It should be noted that Black Sabbath is currently on hiatus (last active in 2007), Priest is still active, Maiden just released a new album, and motorhead is still active. That is between 35 and 42 years of hard rocking for these bands.
Tier 3 - The 80's were a great decade for music and a bad decade for hair. They also saw a guitar virtuoso boom (see Yngwie Malmsteen, Marty Friedman, Jason Becker, etc.). Rock and roll had gotten showy in an almost sickening way. Thrash metal was the pendulum swinging in the other direction. Out from the depths of hell came the big four: Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, and Slayer. Hell yeah. Thrash brought us bleak subject matter, insane instrumental prowess, and a new definition for the image of the hard rocker/metal-head.
For scale, there are thousands of metal acts out there, and these are the biggest ones.
To reiterate, Slayer is one of the biggest metal acts in existence, and they've been going at it for almost thirty years. The lineup has been relatively consistent:
Tom Araya - Bass, Vocals (writes music and lyrics)
Jeff Hanneman - Lead/Rhythm guitar (writes music and lyrics)
Kerry King - Lead/Rhythm guitar (writes music and lyrics)
Dave Lombardo (Godfather of the Double Bass) - Drums (only band member to be replaced, but he's back now)
They have released 11 studio albums, with lyrics mostly focused on the evil inherent in man, warfare, hell, death, hell, blood, and hell. They also have one of the most rabid fan bases in existence. To say to a Slayer fan that any of their members is not the master of his craft and that Slayer is not the greatest band in existence is to invite angry pain.
With that said, here is the point of this post: I do not like Slayer. They are a bad band. I feel bad for listening to them.
Slayer has always held something of a morbid fascination to me, and since they are so influential, I decided that I want to make an informed decision about them. In the past weeks, I have gone into the belly of the abyss and listened to every studio album produced by Slayer that features songs by Slayer. I have braved the depths of hell and the horrors of war in auditory marathons that leave my already jaded ears reeling.
Their riffs tend to simply be tremolo picking punctuated by short descending riffs, their solos are chaotic and mostly about squealing and dissonance, their drum beats, while difficult to play, tend simply be fast and uninteresting. Then there are the vocals. I'll bet there are some interesting concepts in the lyrics, but they are IMPOSSIBLE to understand. Also, Tom Araya has only two settings: fast yelling, and drawn-out yelling. What he does in any song is the equivalent of having the final explosion of an action movie on repeat (you know, the one where the bad guy dies, and the hero walks away from it in slow motion). There are no dynamics in Araya's performances (yes, there are other metal bands where vocal dynamics are present, even in death metal, e.g. Gojira, Opeth). All the flaws described here are evident when Slayer does a cover. Slayer, I am disappoint.
There is some good that has come out of Slayer, though. They have roughly one song per album that I can tolerate. They also have one album that I have found at least 50% enjoyable: Seasons in the Abyss, their fifth in the studio. Listen to Skeletons of Society. It's their best song, period. Everything that Slayer does in that song is the opposite of what I don't like about them: the solos make sense, main riff is driving without making you want to hyperventilate, the vocals are clear and dynamic, and the drums show that Lombardo is actually a good drummer and not just a fast drummer.
Other than that one album, Slayer's good points from my understanding essentially revolve around their influence. They influenced many thrash metal acts that came after them and have become the gold standard for how hard an album is. They have also had a hefty influence on death metal, but the titans of that genre are Death (some argue that the genre is named after them), and they were founded shortly after Slayer). The most pervasive element of their influence, however, is their image. Slayer is what people picture when they think of a metal band: a band of dirty guys playing fast, dissonant songs while yelling. While that image isn't necessarily a good thing, it does serve as a means to winnow those who can stand really hard metal from those who can't and lets you know what to expect.
The image is also good for countering the 80's rock and roll stereotype depicted in this video by the Beastie Boys. Some fun trivia: Kerry King (guitarist for Slayer) is a fan of the Beastie Boys and played the solo in the aforementioned song. When filming the video, they wanted to have King start playing the solo, and then get pushed off the stage by a gorilla, who would finish the solo. King refused, saying that if anyone was knocking anyone off the stage, he'd be knocking the gorilla off the stage. This is exactly what happened.
I've been meaning to post on Slayer, a divinely-endorsed band, for a while now, so here it goes.
In the grand scheme of metal, there are several defining acts that exist in a strict hierarchy.
Tier 1 - Black Sabbath and Judas Priest - founded in the same year (1968), these guys defined metal as a genre and have spawned numerous imitators. Sabbath took blues to the next logical step by making it darker and edgier and are the most popular band in the sub-genre of "doom metal" in addition to being one of the most covered bands there is. Priest fostered the relentless two-guitar attack, fast riffs, and crazy solos that have led to thrash, power, numerous other types of metal. These are the metal gods.
Tier 2 - Iron Maiden and Motorhead - Two more British bands who were also founded in the same year (1975) and helped the development of their style. Maiden's combination of literature, history, war, and really long songs has arguably not been improved upon by anyone but them (according to their fans). A heavy metal band for everyone and one of the big influences on power metal. Motorhead is basically music for bikers. They took heavy riffs and sang about what big, angry men like to talk about while acting as progenitors to thrash metal.
It should be noted that Black Sabbath is currently on hiatus (last active in 2007), Priest is still active, Maiden just released a new album, and motorhead is still active. That is between 35 and 42 years of hard rocking for these bands.
Tier 3 - The 80's were a great decade for music and a bad decade for hair. They also saw a guitar virtuoso boom (see Yngwie Malmsteen, Marty Friedman, Jason Becker, etc.). Rock and roll had gotten showy in an almost sickening way. Thrash metal was the pendulum swinging in the other direction. Out from the depths of hell came the big four: Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, and Slayer. Hell yeah. Thrash brought us bleak subject matter, insane instrumental prowess, and a new definition for the image of the hard rocker/metal-head.
For scale, there are thousands of metal acts out there, and these are the biggest ones.
To reiterate, Slayer is one of the biggest metal acts in existence, and they've been going at it for almost thirty years. The lineup has been relatively consistent:
Tom Araya - Bass, Vocals (writes music and lyrics)
Jeff Hanneman - Lead/Rhythm guitar (writes music and lyrics)
Kerry King - Lead/Rhythm guitar (writes music and lyrics)
Dave Lombardo (Godfather of the Double Bass) - Drums (only band member to be replaced, but he's back now)
They have released 11 studio albums, with lyrics mostly focused on the evil inherent in man, warfare, hell, death, hell, blood, and hell. They also have one of the most rabid fan bases in existence. To say to a Slayer fan that any of their members is not the master of his craft and that Slayer is not the greatest band in existence is to invite angry pain.
With that said, here is the point of this post: I do not like Slayer. They are a bad band. I feel bad for listening to them.
Slayer has always held something of a morbid fascination to me, and since they are so influential, I decided that I want to make an informed decision about them. In the past weeks, I have gone into the belly of the abyss and listened to every studio album produced by Slayer that features songs by Slayer. I have braved the depths of hell and the horrors of war in auditory marathons that leave my already jaded ears reeling.
Their riffs tend to simply be tremolo picking punctuated by short descending riffs, their solos are chaotic and mostly about squealing and dissonance, their drum beats, while difficult to play, tend simply be fast and uninteresting. Then there are the vocals. I'll bet there are some interesting concepts in the lyrics, but they are IMPOSSIBLE to understand. Also, Tom Araya has only two settings: fast yelling, and drawn-out yelling. What he does in any song is the equivalent of having the final explosion of an action movie on repeat (you know, the one where the bad guy dies, and the hero walks away from it in slow motion). There are no dynamics in Araya's performances (yes, there are other metal bands where vocal dynamics are present, even in death metal, e.g. Gojira, Opeth). All the flaws described here are evident when Slayer does a cover. Slayer, I am disappoint.
There is some good that has come out of Slayer, though. They have roughly one song per album that I can tolerate. They also have one album that I have found at least 50% enjoyable: Seasons in the Abyss, their fifth in the studio. Listen to Skeletons of Society. It's their best song, period. Everything that Slayer does in that song is the opposite of what I don't like about them: the solos make sense, main riff is driving without making you want to hyperventilate, the vocals are clear and dynamic, and the drums show that Lombardo is actually a good drummer and not just a fast drummer.
Other than that one album, Slayer's good points from my understanding essentially revolve around their influence. They influenced many thrash metal acts that came after them and have become the gold standard for how hard an album is. They have also had a hefty influence on death metal, but the titans of that genre are Death (some argue that the genre is named after them), and they were founded shortly after Slayer). The most pervasive element of their influence, however, is their image. Slayer is what people picture when they think of a metal band: a band of dirty guys playing fast, dissonant songs while yelling. While that image isn't necessarily a good thing, it does serve as a means to winnow those who can stand really hard metal from those who can't and lets you know what to expect.
The image is also good for countering the 80's rock and roll stereotype depicted in this video by the Beastie Boys. Some fun trivia: Kerry King (guitarist for Slayer) is a fan of the Beastie Boys and played the solo in the aforementioned song. When filming the video, they wanted to have King start playing the solo, and then get pushed off the stage by a gorilla, who would finish the solo. King refused, saying that if anyone was knocking anyone off the stage, he'd be knocking the gorilla off the stage. This is exactly what happened.
Friday, November 19, 2010
What happens when you combine anti-pop and pork soda?
You get Primus!
I realized recently that I have not been providing the metal that I promised for this blog lately, so here we go.
I tell you a story of two disparate genres. Two boon companions torn asunder by a world that does not understand them. Two devoted subcultures of music destined to form into one. I am, of course, referring to metal and funk.
Funk: Sweet licks from guitars with chorus and wah effects and smooth drum beats that take advantage of the hi-hat pedal (pianos as well, if you're so inclined). Slap 'dat bass and get on up like a sex machine. Note how repetitive the music in that song is. If you think that's bad, try listening to Parliament (the baby of George Clinton, who now has a copyright on "Bow wow wow yipeeo yipeeyay bow wow yipeeo yipeeyay"). Funk has been a very influential style and when it's good, it's great and has fantastic staying power.
Metal: The heavy stuff. Harder than rock. Fast, distorted guitars with long, fast solos. (distorted) Bass of both fast and slow styles. Fast drum beats (probably the only place where you'll find double bass drums being used). Add keyboards to taste. Oh, and abrasive vocals. Metal is the manliest of musical styles.
Music being what it is, these two styles have fused in a few bands of note to some interesting effects. Recently, I have had a hard time not listening to Primus, love child that Les Claypool had with his bass. Claypool himself used to play thrash metal, so he's very accustomed to the no holds barred, balls-out playing style that accompanies a metal band. He even auditioned for Metallica after renowned bassist Cliff Burton died. In Primus, Claypool finds a very cool fusion of alternative rock, metal, and funk. Primus songs are rife with fast slapping bass riffs that denote a level of technical skill beyond any other bassist I've ever heard. Listen to this guy. As far as songwriting goes, Claypool is essentially the Frank Zappa of bass, so expect really weird lyrics and off-the wall musical style that goes from classical to thrash-y to experimental, but is always funky. Oh yeah, there are two other guys in the band (who are both great), but the driving force behind the band is good ol' Les who has done a few side projects and solo tracks.
For beginning Primus listeners, I would not recommend going straight for an entire album due to the odd and inconsistent nature of the songwriting. Try out the hits, and if you like them, check out the albums (e.g. Anti-Pop and Pork Soda). My personal endorsements go out to:
- Tommy the Cat
- John the Fisherman [featured on Guitar Hero 2]
- Wynona's Big Brown Beaver [it's about a rodent]
- Jerry Was a Racecar Driver [featured on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Rock Band 3]
- Electric Uncle Sam
- Mr. Knowitall
- Nature Boy
For all of the oddness of Primus' fusion of genres, they aren't the only funk metal band out there. Unfortunately, many of the others are bad. I can certainly recommend Rage Against the Machine, but it feels like a cop-out because these guys span hip-hop/rap, funk, metal, punk, and maybe even industrial. They do have their specifically funky songs, though. Faith No More is another genre-spanning band that is more specifically funk-oriented and cares a lot about killer bees. Then, of course, there's Maximum the Hormone. The full version of that song is actually pretty decent.
I can give a tentative recommendation to The Infectious Grooves, who some may call more of a hardcore punk/funk (hardcore pfunk?) band than funk metal. Infectious Grooves includes the only consistent member of Suicidal Tendencies, "Cyco" Mike Muir as well as Suicidal Tendencies and Metallica bassist, Robert Trujillo.
I realized recently that I have not been providing the metal that I promised for this blog lately, so here we go.
I tell you a story of two disparate genres. Two boon companions torn asunder by a world that does not understand them. Two devoted subcultures of music destined to form into one. I am, of course, referring to metal and funk.
Funk: Sweet licks from guitars with chorus and wah effects and smooth drum beats that take advantage of the hi-hat pedal (pianos as well, if you're so inclined). Slap 'dat bass and get on up like a sex machine. Note how repetitive the music in that song is. If you think that's bad, try listening to Parliament (the baby of George Clinton, who now has a copyright on "Bow wow wow yipeeo yipeeyay bow wow yipeeo yipeeyay"). Funk has been a very influential style and when it's good, it's great and has fantastic staying power.
Metal: The heavy stuff. Harder than rock. Fast, distorted guitars with long, fast solos. (distorted) Bass of both fast and slow styles. Fast drum beats (probably the only place where you'll find double bass drums being used). Add keyboards to taste. Oh, and abrasive vocals. Metal is the manliest of musical styles.
Music being what it is, these two styles have fused in a few bands of note to some interesting effects. Recently, I have had a hard time not listening to Primus, love child that Les Claypool had with his bass. Claypool himself used to play thrash metal, so he's very accustomed to the no holds barred, balls-out playing style that accompanies a metal band. He even auditioned for Metallica after renowned bassist Cliff Burton died. In Primus, Claypool finds a very cool fusion of alternative rock, metal, and funk. Primus songs are rife with fast slapping bass riffs that denote a level of technical skill beyond any other bassist I've ever heard. Listen to this guy. As far as songwriting goes, Claypool is essentially the Frank Zappa of bass, so expect really weird lyrics and off-the wall musical style that goes from classical to thrash-y to experimental, but is always funky. Oh yeah, there are two other guys in the band (who are both great), but the driving force behind the band is good ol' Les who has done a few side projects and solo tracks.
For beginning Primus listeners, I would not recommend going straight for an entire album due to the odd and inconsistent nature of the songwriting. Try out the hits, and if you like them, check out the albums (e.g. Anti-Pop and Pork Soda). My personal endorsements go out to:
- Tommy the Cat
- John the Fisherman [featured on Guitar Hero 2]
- Wynona's Big Brown Beaver [it's about a rodent]
- Jerry Was a Racecar Driver [featured on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Rock Band 3]
- Electric Uncle Sam
- Mr. Knowitall
- Nature Boy
For all of the oddness of Primus' fusion of genres, they aren't the only funk metal band out there. Unfortunately, many of the others are bad. I can certainly recommend Rage Against the Machine, but it feels like a cop-out because these guys span hip-hop/rap, funk, metal, punk, and maybe even industrial. They do have their specifically funky songs, though. Faith No More is another genre-spanning band that is more specifically funk-oriented and cares a lot about killer bees. Then, of course, there's Maximum the Hormone. The full version of that song is actually pretty decent.
I can give a tentative recommendation to The Infectious Grooves, who some may call more of a hardcore punk/funk (hardcore pfunk?) band than funk metal. Infectious Grooves includes the only consistent member of Suicidal Tendencies, "Cyco" Mike Muir as well as Suicidal Tendencies and Metallica bassist, Robert Trujillo.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
An explanation...
...of why Flask and I have to be at odds: if we were to join forces, then the combination of our mad sciences would result in something like this:
You're welcome.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
There are no words...
http://www.dwsmg.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/1264452505_big-bear-doin-thangs.jpg
From "The Worst Hiphop Album Covers of All Time" (of ALL TIME!).
Thanks, HTMC.
From "The Worst Hiphop Album Covers of All Time" (of ALL TIME!).
Thanks, HTMC.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Channeling Hitchcock Pt. 1
The following is based on actual events. The names of the people and places involved have been changed to respect the privacy of the people and places involved. The events have also been changed. Just a bit.
________________________________________
I had just gotten my usual sandwich from Monty's and sat down at a table in the courtyard at work. It was a typical day with the sun beating down on those too busy to stay in the shade. I loaded my phone's copy of Frankenstein and began to read as I unwrapped my lunch.
The ambient noise was soothing. The sounds of planes and gunfire in the distance maintained a steady hum, par for the course considering I was seated in a Marine Corps installation near an airfield. I could smell the hoagie roll teasing my senses as I brought it closer to my mouth, when a piercing cry reached my ears.
Screams of, "Medic!" from new recruits were normal for this time of the year, but this one was oddly wordless, a low cry of different timbre that of a green soldier. I turned to find its source, but became more even more confused when my search came up empty.
I was just about ready to chalk this one up to experimental equipment testing when the air raid sirens started to go off and I heard the tell-tale rhythm of soldiers running away from something in (near) unison. I got up to brace for impact with a crowd, when I realized that the steps were moving away from my position. A silhouette, followed by several more, passed over my sandwich arm. As I stood up, I realized what I was in for just as a panicked voice came over the PA system:
"GEEEEEEEEESE!"
________________________________________
I had just gotten my usual sandwich from Monty's and sat down at a table in the courtyard at work. It was a typical day with the sun beating down on those too busy to stay in the shade. I loaded my phone's copy of Frankenstein and began to read as I unwrapped my lunch.
The ambient noise was soothing. The sounds of planes and gunfire in the distance maintained a steady hum, par for the course considering I was seated in a Marine Corps installation near an airfield. I could smell the hoagie roll teasing my senses as I brought it closer to my mouth, when a piercing cry reached my ears.
Screams of, "Medic!" from new recruits were normal for this time of the year, but this one was oddly wordless, a low cry of different timbre that of a green soldier. I turned to find its source, but became more even more confused when my search came up empty.
I was just about ready to chalk this one up to experimental equipment testing when the air raid sirens started to go off and I heard the tell-tale rhythm of soldiers running away from something in (near) unison. I got up to brace for impact with a crowd, when I realized that the steps were moving away from my position. A silhouette, followed by several more, passed over my sandwich arm. As I stood up, I realized what I was in for just as a panicked voice came over the PA system:
"GEEEEEEEEESE!"
Monday, October 4, 2010
Meeting the quota...
So, it seems that those of you who read this site the most have been experimenting with a new meme. I realize that my favorite character has already been covered, so here are some other characters I've played. If anyone else has some better ideas for the last two, I am very much open to replacements (these characters weren't nearly as memorable).
Number one: Cantor Remski Stratovarium (Dark Heresy)
Number one: Cantor Remski Stratovarium (Dark Heresy)
Number two: Brutus (Inquisitor)
Number three: Dave (Orpheus)
Number four: Robertzzz (Deserts and DnD)
And because I haven't been filling my bear quota lately, here's the latest piece of furniture I want, the grizzly chair:
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tempering metal in a Cthonic mood
From the people who brought you Bearsharktopus:
Put on some mood music.
And witness Jeffy's descent into MADNESS.
Even better: there's a whole string of them. Hot damn!
On more somber, but no less MADDENING note, it brings me great pain to report to those of you who either don't care as much as I do or who already know that Mike Portnoy, considered to be perhaps the greatest drummer in the current rock/metal field, has left Dream Theater, the progressive metal quintet that he helped to found. Portnoy's influence has graced the stage in a good number of contexts (drumming for a number of bands, playing the odd guitar or bass during onstage jam sessions at live concerts, writing roughly half of the music and words to Dream Theater's 10+ album repertoire, etc.), and by all rights, he seems to be a pretty cool guy who is very devoted to his work. He is the most prolific bootlegger of Dream Theater's live performances, has released a number of DVDs on his own of studio sessions showing his drumming technique to those aficionados most interested, and was (when last I checked) organizing an annual concert geared toward progressive metal. He is the second youngest person to be inducted into the Modern Drumming Hall of Fame (the youngest was Neil Peart of Rush) (most of this according to wikipedia)
The fact that the above paragraph reads kind of like an obituary is intentional. Portnoy isn't dead, but his departure from Dream Theater does coincide with a mildly disturbing new merger. It turns out that the drummer for Avenged Sevenfold (A7X) made it known to his band that Mike Portnoy was his favorite drummer (and who can blame him?). Said A7X drummer, James Owen Sullivan (a.k.a. "The Rev") died of a drug overdose before the release of the band's most recent album. Mike Portnoy was asked to take his place. This means that Portnoy's progressive metal flair will be drawn toward a metalcore style, which is (for lack of a better word) weird.
Metalcore is something I've been meaning to comment on after I had heard more of it. Now that I've listened to a decent selection of a few of the more popular metalcore bands out there (e.g. All That Remains, Bullet for My Valentine, Killswitch Engage, Trivium), I have made a conscious decision to be "on the fence about it."
Some background: if you add "-core" to any musical style, it means that it incorporates elements of hardcore punk. Instrumentally, this means that guitars tend toward power chords or tremolo (i.e. fast) picking, fast bass, and fast drum beats that are relatively simple. The biggest change that comes from adding hardcore punk elements to a style, IMO, is present in the vocals. While modern metal will tend to focus on things that are brutal, unjust, or death-related, the subject matter of metalcore overlaps an uncomfortable amount with that of emo, which is so whiny, it's hilarious. In addition to the change in subject matter, there is commonly a change in presentation, which mostly means that in addition to the abrasive vocals found in metal, you also get some very exaggerated screaming: go to 1:25. This can be overlooked by the fan of the extreme metal types, but when you add in the style of clean vocals (singing that doesn't hurt your voice) that metalcore commonly adds to choruses, you've gone too far.
Just like most things in music, some people have found places where each of these elements can work, but their confluence can also be almost universally reviled.
Proponents of metalcore will cite that the style, obviously, takes the good elements from two disparate styles and lets them augment one another. Clean vocals will juxtapose with hard shouts and create interesting dynamics, the subject matter of metal music can be bleak too bleak and that of modern punk is for sissies, all metal and punk fans have a thing for bands playing fast, and you get rocking solos to boot. Everybody wins!
In my opinion, metalcore is done correctly when it is skewed toward the metal end: solos are intricate, double bass is plentiful, vocals strike a healthy medium without becoming whiny, and it's fun to listen to. This, however, is HIGHLY biased.
So now you have me: decidedly not sure. Here's why:
What concerns me about metalcore is what it means for the development of its component styles. As we all know, music has a cultural component, and cultures are dynamic to a mighty degree. Metalcore has come from a fusion of styles that have come from fusions of styles (notably metal coming from rock/blues and punk coming from rock/lack of technical skill/angst). I like some metalcore, I dislike some. If there is a musical style that I, or anyone, likes, then there will be parts of it that they don't like. Before I say whether I like or dislike metalcore as a whole, I want to see what it leaves as its legacy. I want to know if this is more of a trend of hardcore punk getting more extreme or metal getting more concerned about why its girlfriend broke up with him after he got drunk again the other night.
On the other hand, this style may remain fairly consistent, and I'll just feel lukewarm about it until the day I die. For the time being, however, recent events have convinced me that I should give Avenged Sevenfold's new album a try and wait to see if there's more of a Portnoy stamp on their next album (if he stays with them for that long).
P.S. Honestly, though, it seems that some bands just think that if you do something more __________ than other bands do, it makes you good, but this is only sometimes the case. Be warned, aspiring metal artists! Exaggerated elements of stylistic trends abound.
P.P.S. This post took long enough to write that it didn't go through the first time I tried to publish it. Thank goodness the text was preserved in my history.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
A professional courtesy
As I go through life, I find myself awed by the ability of music to induce emotions. It is certainly a facet of our culture that merits research (and is producing it, little by little). It is wondrous, this production of an emotional change based on hearing certain sequences of sounds that lack phonological meaning. I certainly have some projects in mind should my path lead me down the research end of things.
However, there is another career path that I am currently entertaining: that of becoming a practicing physician or dentist. This relates to the ability of music to induce emotions in that, for me, a playlist filled to the brim with red, hot METAL gets me pumped and ready to be productive. It also does wonders for staving off boredom. The problem is that metal isn't exactly the best background music for patient care. Listen to an album by Children of Bodom, Dope, Soulfly, etc. and see if they can go through two songs (instrumentals don't count) without dropping the f-bomb.
Now, we know that wearing headphones when dealing with patients is considered rude and unprofessional, so I would have to listen to the metal over the office radio, which means that this would not be a good environment for children, so I cannot provide care for them. I realize that this is shutting out two demographics of potential patients, namely: children and people who take their children with them when visiting doctors' offices.
This may actually be a plus! Who likes being in a waiting room while noisy children who have nothing to do with you get all up in your bid-ness with their shouting, bawling, biting, sweet rave parties, toy-throwing, vomiting, and exclamations?* Nobody! There exists a specialization of medicine entitled "pediatrics" that cuts out the demographic of patients who are not children, so I propose to go in reverse: become an ADULT physician/dentist.
*Examples: "Mommy!", "Stop!", "Achoo!", "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY", (the last one is representative of what my children will yell)
This may actually be a plus! Who likes being in a waiting room while noisy children who have nothing to do with you get all up in your bid-ness with their shouting, bawling, biting, sweet rave parties, toy-throwing, vomiting, and exclamations?* Nobody! There exists a specialization of medicine entitled "pediatrics" that cuts out the demographic of patients who are not children, so I propose to go in reverse: become an ADULT physician/dentist.
*Examples: "Mommy!", "Stop!", "Achoo!", "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY", (the last one is representative of what my children will yell)
This idea needs some refinement, however, since whenever you put "adult" in front of anything, it means that it's pornographic, and that's just not the kind of ship I'd be running. It would be so hawkward.
I don't actually plan on doing this. I just wanted an excuse to post that image.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Bears and metal: what you read, what you expect, what you get.
It turns out that a lot of what I have to do at work is read about the machines that we use and look up articles in primary literature in order to determine whether the paths we wish to take with our research are viable. This means that my eyes are occupied with reading, while my motor facilities and ability to feel sensations through my skin are occupied by typing notes. This leaves olfaction (which affects taste), taste, and hearing free to do whatever they wish in the workplace environment. Hot damn, it's multitasking time.
As such, it has been my (sometimes) pleasure to sample musical groups that have been recommended to me by sources such as friends, wikipedia, pandora, etc. In addition, this is also a great time to rediscover bands that I already know are good, but perhaps have not explored to the extent that I should have.
Some recommendations!
For non-metal fans:
Images and Words by Dream Theater (Album) - the album that has received the best critical acclaim by the mainstream, also the only album of theirs that had an actual "hit" in ten studio albums (Pull Me Under). If you like this album, then I highly recommend continuing to Metropolis pt. 2: Scenes from a Memory. It is a concept album that picks up from Metropolis pt. 1: the Miracle and the Sleeper on Images and Words.
The Crooked Vultures (Band) - Josh Homme (from Kyuss) is frontman and guitarist. Dave Grohl (from Nirvana and the Foo Fighters) drums. John Paul Jones (from Led Zeppelin) plays bass and miscellaneous instruments. They've got some fun songs. How can you go wrong? Warning: semi-hard rock.
Tl;dr: Images and Words by Dream Theater: Listen to it.
Them Crooked Vultures: Listen to them.
For metal fans:
Kyuss - borders the line between hard rock and stoner metal. They get a nice thing going, though. Fun to listen to, kind of groovy, not very loud.
Bal Sagoth - I especially recommend this one to Flask. For black metal (black the metal style, nothing racial about this), they are surprisingly easy on the ears. There is a lot of ham-fisted epicness to be found in their grandiose music and delivery of nerdy lyrics. What can be better than album titles like Starfire Burning Upon the Ice-Veiled Throne of Ultima Thule or The Cthonic Chronicles? Answer: song titles like Into the Silent Chambers of the Sapphirean Throne (Sagas from the Antediluvian Scrolls) and The Dark Liege of Chaos is Unleashed at the Ensorcelled Shrine of A'Zura Kai (The Splendour of a Thousand Swords Gleaming Beneath the Blazon of the Hyperborean Empire Part II).
Tl;dr: Kyuss - easy listening metal
Bal Sagoth - EPIC
Also, bears:
...
Sort of...
As such, it has been my (sometimes) pleasure to sample musical groups that have been recommended to me by sources such as friends, wikipedia, pandora, etc. In addition, this is also a great time to rediscover bands that I already know are good, but perhaps have not explored to the extent that I should have.
Some recommendations!
For non-metal fans:
Images and Words by Dream Theater (Album) - the album that has received the best critical acclaim by the mainstream, also the only album of theirs that had an actual "hit" in ten studio albums (Pull Me Under). If you like this album, then I highly recommend continuing to Metropolis pt. 2: Scenes from a Memory. It is a concept album that picks up from Metropolis pt. 1: the Miracle and the Sleeper on Images and Words.
The Crooked Vultures (Band) - Josh Homme (from Kyuss) is frontman and guitarist. Dave Grohl (from Nirvana and the Foo Fighters) drums. John Paul Jones (from Led Zeppelin) plays bass and miscellaneous instruments. They've got some fun songs. How can you go wrong? Warning: semi-hard rock.
Tl;dr: Images and Words by Dream Theater: Listen to it.
Them Crooked Vultures: Listen to them.
For metal fans:
Kyuss - borders the line between hard rock and stoner metal. They get a nice thing going, though. Fun to listen to, kind of groovy, not very loud.
Bal Sagoth - I especially recommend this one to Flask. For black metal (black the metal style, nothing racial about this), they are surprisingly easy on the ears. There is a lot of ham-fisted epicness to be found in their grandiose music and delivery of nerdy lyrics. What can be better than album titles like Starfire Burning Upon the Ice-Veiled Throne of Ultima Thule or The Cthonic Chronicles? Answer: song titles like Into the Silent Chambers of the Sapphirean Throne (Sagas from the Antediluvian Scrolls) and The Dark Liege of Chaos is Unleashed at the Ensorcelled Shrine of A'Zura Kai (The Splendour of a Thousand Swords Gleaming Beneath the Blazon of the Hyperborean Empire Part II).
Tl;dr: Kyuss - easy listening metal
Bal Sagoth - EPIC
Also, bears:
...
Sort of...
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